My promised cracktastical Naruto fanfic~ :D

You know those creepy fanfics where people hear "dirty noises" but they just end up being nothing? Yeeeeaahh.........
Beware!
:D

btw. main chara is Sakura. Just because.


Sakura was finishing up with her daily rounds. She'd already serenaded Hyuuga Neji at his window all night long (unknowing to her, Neji wasn't even home, and the outline behind his curtains had simply been a petrified Hiashi, thinking that she was the angry singing spirit of his deceased third wife), she'd sprinkled twelve garbage bags full of rose petals down on that hunk, Gaara, from her family's private helicopter (causing him to cough and wheeze and collapse beneath hundreds of large red allergy-induced boils. After twenty-six hours in plastic surgery, Gaara was told that his face would never be the same), and had even stopped by Shino's place to set his dog on fire (being that he was a weirdo, and weirdo's deserved to be PUNISHED... unknowing to Sakura, that had actually been Kiba's dog. Luckily, Akamaru was intelligent enough to jump into a conveniently placed bucket of water). Sakura was finally finished up, and ready to stop by the house of her beloved Sasuke.

Sasuke was usually Sakura's first stop every morning, but oddly enough, he hadn't been home earlier that day. She could have sworn that she'd heard someone moving about in his house, but as much as she pounded on his front door, strangely enough, no one had answered.

Now Sasuke typically lived all alone in a luxurious mansion, as mentioned in numerous Naruto fanfics...not that he was even the heir to the Uchiha clan - or lived in a mansion in the first place! Now, let's disregard Sasuke's tiny studio apartment revealed to us in episode 109, but say that perhaps after the Uchiha massacre, the dead bodies of his relatives had been stripped of their pocket change and handed down to Sasuke, being their last living non-evil relative and all. Sasuke in turn, took the money, and decided to buy himself a mansion, because he's just sooo materialistic. Oh, and he calls it "The Uchiha Mansion," because that just sounds so damn cool. Living by himself, in the isolated ghost town that had once been the Uchiha section of the village, Sasuke lurks the blood-stained streets on lonely nights, feasting on dead squirrels, and whatever other small woodland creatures he could come by. He regularly pauses in these quests to break down and cry. Yes...oh yes. Ahem, we shall most definitely go with that.

Anyway...

Sakura pounded her small fists furiously upon Sasuke's enormous front door. "Dear Sasuke-kun, where are yooouuuuu!" she cried. After a few moments of hysterical sobbing, Sakura noticed that Sasuke's garage door was wide open. Blinking in surprise, she walked inside, noticing yet another open door that led her into Sasuke's house.

That's when she heard the noises. Dirty noises.

"Oh, yes...yes..."

Sakura's eyes widened as she pressed her ear to the bathroom door. Was that Naruto's voice?

There was a tearing sound.

"Holy shit – what is that!" There was a gasp. "You have three of those things?"

"Come closer, dobe." It was Sasuke's voice.

"Oh Sasuke," Naruto moaned. "Oooohhhh, yesssss."

Sasuke grunted.

"Harder...HARDER! GIVIT-TO-ME-HARDER!" There was a loud thumping noise.

"I can't take it anymore!" Sakura screamed, bursting through the door.

The sight within shocked her.

Saskue and Naruto were...

They were-!

They were having SEX!

Sakura, quite stunned, decided to absorb Sasuke's naked appearance while she had the chance. His body was PERFECT! Everything seemed in order, except for his...penis...es...

Penises. Three, to be exact. They were each long and green, with a large glowing red bulb sitting on the tip.

Oh. And he some sort of mutant purple lizard-tail poking out of his ass-crack.

"AHHH!" Sakura shrieked.

The End

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